How-to get laid

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

I need expert advice on how to get laid. I don't know where to start or what to do. I'm a quadruple virgin and I just turned 18 so I'm legal bait. Please give me a recipe.

FastChef
FastChef

Confidence and/or money

JunkTop
JunkTop

@FastChef
Sorry, I'm not going to pay you.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

having money and nice shit.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@FastChef
Unfortunately OP, this user is right.
First 50% is confidence, second 50% is money. Different girls have different minimums of each, but its all the same rules.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@CodeBuns
Last night I was up to take the biggest shit ever. I filled the whole totally with a small mountain on top. The shit was a normal brown but kind of soft.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@BunnyJinx
I'm confident and I have money but I didn't get laid.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@Fuzzy_Logic
If want to think women are something other then mercenaries, then that is your business, but I can tell you white knighting won't get you laid in any circumstances.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Spazyfool
white knighting won't get you laid
How do you know and how do I white knight?

happy_sad
happy_sad

Go to a bar/club/wherever adults drink in your country after 8pm

Sit at the bar and SLOWLY drink a spirit of your choice with ice in it.

Wait for a suitable target that isn't attached, and initiate conversation (easier than it sounds, you'll get good at it with practice).

If you're okay looking, know how to dress, and arn't a social retard/autist then you should have at least a 1 in 10 success rate with this.

when you hit 3 you'll want to kill yourself though if you haven't formed a meaningful relationship yet

Alternatively go for online dating sites, whichever you like. Plenty of lonely desperate people on those. But remember, these are not first round picks for a reason.

cum2soon
cum2soon

@King_Martha
How do you know
male feminists
how do I white knight
irrelevant reply that was some kind of poor attempt at trolling, most likely brought about by me saying women are gold diggers.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@BinaryMan
I don't get why people think she is hot, her tits are gross - one is way bigger than the other, and her nips are messed up, and on top of that she has a dog ugly face, and she's a filthy whore…

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

Spirit, ice, slowly, target, online, lonely desperate people, got it.
not first round picks
Then who should I pick?

I know how to initiate a conversation, I'm not dumb.
hi
What do I do after that?

If you're okay looking
I'm not.
know how to dress
I don't.
arn't a social retard/autist
I'm both.
at least a 1 in 10 success rate
So how would you rate my rate?

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@cum2soon
Okay, I will ignore him then, thanks.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@Bidwell
Do you think I would have a chance?

Techpill
Techpill

75% Money 10% show that you have money 10% looks 10& confidence.

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@Techpill
So your sayin I should be 5% fake?

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Gigastrength
she has weird eyes for an Asian 3DPD

SniperGod
SniperGod

@PackManBrainlure
Yep.

[spooler]I suck at mathematics[/spoiler]

RumChicken
RumChicken

@PackManBrainlure
Yes, a bit 2d.

StonedTime
StonedTime

@SniperGod
OMG something is screwed in me today.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

I was a virgin until 20. Just go on twitter and meet a girl in the same country as you, preferably one who's a weabooweaboo. That's how I've had the same girlfriend for 3 years

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@CouchChiller
A double weaboo?

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@lostmypassword
Then who should I pick?
The not first round picks was regarding Online dating - I was saying there is a reason they're on those sites looking for companionship. First rounds picks are never on the market long enough to resort to online dating etc. You'll get a feel for people who are looking to get picked up. e.g. girls tend to go in pairs if they're looking for men, they'll be looking around, trying to make eye contact with unattached men and so on. You'll get good at picking these things up with practice.

I wouldn't go for "hi" if you can avoid it, I can give you some pointers here, but your best bet would be to observe other people doing it if you can. The best initiators are ones that are relevant to what is happening, and somewhat witty, it really helps if you are good at picking up on things. This demonstrates you are sharp and not using canned lines. e.g. this is one I pulled last Friday in a bar, for reference I live in London and I'm a 6-7/10 guy interested in women. The woman in question I'd noticed had an american accent, and her friend had just said "this is my last one" when buying their drinks.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice your accent, east coast right? I spent a summer in Rhode Island a lifetime ago…"
Then you gauge for their reaction how to follow up. Generally speaking women love it when you ask for their opinion of things. So with this girl I asked her about her travels in Europe as an English speaker, and mentioned I'd had issues with it etc.

It's all a game, you gotta play enough times to get some wins under your belt and learn how to read and respond etc.

Even if you're bad looking, you can be a 6-7 out of ten for most women, get in a healthy bmi, dress well (plenty of guides on how to dress if you look around), get a decent hair cut, if you're really inept, just go to a reasonably trendy hairdressers and just get what they recommend.
For social skills just practice man, keep going until it's all second nature. You'll get to the stage where half the things you say you don't even have to think and it's all reflexes.

You will get shot down. A lot. people love to feel attractive (get hit on) and a lot of them just want to get that buzz and nothing more. It's not personal, so just smile say "have a nice evening" or whatever and move along.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@SniperGod
I was saying there is a reason they're on those sites looking for companionship
umm… women go on there for attention and free shit.

Nojokur
Nojokur

@PurpleCharger
I once pulled my dick out of my cousins ass and it was covered in shit just like in that pic.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@Ignoramus
women go on there for attention and free shit.

Yep.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@Nojokur
That is okay tho, their shit taste like fruit.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@New_Cliche
Thanks man. I have a couple of ideas but not sure if too rude.
"Hey, couldn't help but notice your accent, African right? I used to live on a farm down south."
Or this.
"Hey, couldn't help but notice your looking for a man. I have one at my place."

Would it be worth it to get a British accent?

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Ignoramus
@New_Cliche
whoops, fucking stupid auto shit

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@Nojokur
I don't think I want to fuck my cousin.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Bidwell
Are you one of those guys who goes on Gelbooru to bitch about her in the comments?

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Spamalot
Gelbooru has 3DPD?

takes2long
takes2long

You're on the internet and you're asking this?

Okay, first thing's first. You know how they say "don't put your dick in crazy"? Right, well if it's insanely difficult for you to get laid and you don't want to pay for it, for a first round draft, this is going to be your only option.

It's important to note all women are crazy to varying degrees, and the women who will lower their standards, the ones looking for love on the internet, those are the ones who have already been disqualified due to appearance or behavior in person. So if she's hot, she's crazy and that's all there is to it. As long as you don't get attached and don't leave her alone in your house, most crazies won't be able to fuck your shit up too much aside from rape allegations. In my experience, only one girl has ever hated me enough to claim I raped her, but she was a crazy borderline who claimed *everyone* raped her, so everyone just kind of nodded and patted her head like they did when she accused every other guy she dated, and her father and brother.

So let's start with the internet. Go with shared interests. Going on a random chat site that lets you put in interests and finding some girl with common interests will generally be enough to get even the spergiest of individuals laid. I'll go with even easier mode, make those interests sexual fetishes and you'll be in the pink even faster because you'll have an excuse to discuss exactly what turns you both on right off the bat.

I've met girls off of halfchan, omegle, fetlife, okcupid and IMVU. Second expression, you've heard the term "practice girl" right? If you have to start with a four you start with a four, the point is building your confidence. As with anything the more you do it the better you get at it, so just talk to lots of girls.

There's also the expression "a pair and a spare" and while some men live by it as a safety net, you're wandering into dangerous territory by doing it. And I don't just mean "getting caught" territory I mean "you stuck your dick in crazy and she refused to accept that you dumped her, and when you informed her you were going on a date with a beauty pageant winner she pumped 8 bullets into your chest and skull and now your story is on 48 hours." So why take the risk?

If you're dating three girls, even if one of them is your favorite, if she starts pulling shit with you the knowledge that you can call up one of the other two girls and get your dick sucked right then and there will give you the confidence not to put up with her bullshit. If she says "I'm leaving you!" you can say "Your loss." kiss her on the forehead and call one of the others. Now you may be thinking "I don't need that kind of safety net" but if you've had difficulty getting laid in the past you can find yourself begging her to stay and making a fool of yourself despite yourself.

The important thing here is math. You just keep trying with girls until you find out what works, who is receptive to you, etc.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Ignoramus
Yeah, some do, but most are lonely and scared of their ovaries shriveling up before they plop out some babies.

@Crazy_Nice
Go for it, British accents do seem to go down well with some women, but they don't help out in Europe much.

Playboyize
Playboyize

@Bidwell
I mean, you can be a little faggot all you like, but her cross-market success demonstrates you're wrong. Her tits are awesome and very natural-looking, she's huge both in Japan and the west, and all adult actresses are filthy whores.

@Gigastrength
She said in an interview she doesn't date western men because she's afraid of their penises.

Having watched many of her scenes I suspect she's one of those cases where they've used the mosaic laws to make fake porn and she was getting fucked and cummed on by pretend penises in many or all of them. This from the fact that when she worked with Score instead of doing any genuinely hardcore scenes, she did a bizarre video in a fake gloryhole with a wall of dildos and then the camera man squirted fake cum all over her.

Methshot
Methshot

@takes2long
ignore this nonsense, meeting women on places life the chans is fucking retarded

And don't go in with all this "women are crazy, money grabbing whores" stuff, form your own opinion after talking to a few. Sure some women are pretty horrible, some are boring as fuck, but plenty of the ones I've met are fun.

Emberburn
Emberburn

@BinaryMan
8chan Leeky Forums
asking how to get laid

Here's some advice: Find a better source.

Evilember
Evilember

@Methshot
don't go in with all this "women are crazy, money grabbing whores" stuff, form your own opinion after talking to a few

But they'll form the same opinion after talking to a few, so why waste time?

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Playboyize
I mean, you can be a little faggot all you like, but her cross-market success demonstrates you're wrong. Her tits are awesome and very natural-looking, she's huge both in Japan and the west, and all adult actresses are filthy whores.
You're literally defending a whore and getting mad at people for saying they don't like her. That's seriously fucked up bro.
She said in an interview she doesn't date western men because she's afraid of their penises.
Sounds like she's saying precisely what people want to hear, and you're swallowing it like a retard. Who reads interviews with porn sluts anyway you fucking loser
Having watched many of her scenes I suspect she's one of those cases where they've used the mosaic laws to make fake porn and she was getting fucked and cummed on by pretend penises in many or all of them. This from the fact that when she worked with Score instead of doing any genuinely hardcore scenes, she did a bizarre video in a fake gloryhole with a wall of dildos and then the camera man squirted fake cum all over her.
Sure, whatever helps you not kill yourself for being obsessed with a dumb whore who fucks men for money.

Flameblow
Flameblow

@BinaryMan
you could wait for sexbots, like I am doing. It is pretty easy.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Flameblow
like I am doing. It is pretty easy.

Same here fam.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

Or just post on Craigslist that you're seeking for someone to take your virginity. You're guaranteed to get replies, as that is a fetish for many people.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@takes2long
hot crazy girls
I'm up for it.

make those interests sexual fetishes
Rape.
rape allegation
How to handle?

If you have to start with a four you start with a four
What if I can't get hard with her?

safety net
What if their all horny and want me at the same time?

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@RavySnake
that pic

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Firespawn
You're literally defending a whore and getting mad at people for saying they don't like her. That's seriously fucked up bro.

I'm not defending her, I'm defending her appearance and my penis's reaction to her. As I said to begin with, she's a whore either way, but she's a physically attractive one.

Sounds like she's saying precisely what people want to hear, and you're swallowing it like a retard. Who reads interviews with porn sluts anyway you fucking loser

Telling western audiences she will never fuck them is what they want to here? Come off it. I figured the "I'm afraid of their penises" line was just a nice way of saying "I think they're ugly as fuck." Like I said in the third point though, I think the reality is most of her scenes were faked. Why else would she fly across the country and then refuse to take a single dick after doing gangbangs and bukkake in her native country?

RumChicken
RumChicken

@BinaryMan
Get $100 dollar bill.
Go to Asian massage parlor.
??????
Where I live, they're more common than McDonalds, and most of them have whores. Not that I've ever gone to one…

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Playboyize
she's afraid of their penises
But I could show her mine.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@RumChicken
but what if he only wants white pussy? Where can you go to fuck hot blonde Aryan goddesses?

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@Methshot
Thanks, I will keep an open mind.

@Emberburn
I can't post on 4chan.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@LuckyDusty
I get being loyal to a woman you're actually fucking, or that is the mother of your children, but not to one that gets fucked by multiple men while being filmed that you happen to find attractive. Much less being so obsessed with said whore that you read her interviews and argue with people that say she isn't attractive on the internet…

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Flameblow
@SniperGod
It is pretty easy
Easy too wait? I don't have time for that. I'm 18.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@TalkBomber
I will definitely give that a go. Do you think they'll be ugly?

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@DeathDog
Hamburg, Germany

Anywhere east of Berlin

London, UK

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@StrangeWizard
I said white pussy, not arab pussy

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@RumChicken
Get $100 dollar bill.
That's a bit expensive and I don't need a massage.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@RavySnake
Good god, that image. I'll never be aroused by petplay again.

How to handle?
Well like I said, only one that ever accused me was so disreputable it didn't matter. I just don't do anything they could possibly construe as rape. Never plead, never seem desperate. If your fetish is rape and you find girls with a rape fantasy, this most likely won't be an issue. Especially if you have a documented history in text of her specifically asking you to rape her.

What if I can't get hard with her?
Oh right, common mistake, I actually made that once. The answer is simple, don't express interest in girls you're not aroused by. It's not going to lead anywhere good for either of you. I factored crazy into the numbers, physically aim for sixes or sevens to start with, but don't let yourself be intimidated by 10s either, talk to them like they were 4's too.

What if their all horny and want me at the same time?
Not so much with horniness, but they will all start demanding as much of your time and attention as you'll give them. Ignoring them a little bit will keep them interested, if you're busy you're busy. If you have a real reason you can't talk, tell them, but add that nothing's changed and you're still totally into them. I have a sick mother and a cute dog, if I've been gone for a few days and they're upset I haven't talked to them "Oh, I had to deal with some family drama." "Work kept me really busy." "My mother was sick." "Had to take my puppy to the vet" Just use these excuses sparingly. You feel sniffly? Tell her you've been sick. Odds are she'll want to come cook for you and suck your dick to show how valuable she'd be to you.

whereismyname
whereismyname

@PurpleCharger
I'm 18
more then enough time. You should probably try to make a lot of money if you want sexbots when they first come out.

Nojokur
Nojokur

@Fuzzy_Logic
le ebin Europe is arabic meme

Illusionz
Illusionz

@PurpleCharger

I'm 18.

I'm 24 I have 6 years with out sex.
It's not that bad.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@AwesomeTucker
Thing is, you're reading like a jealous, projecting bitch. You think she's ugly, I've demonstrated why most disagree with you. Now you're so butthurt you're trying to make the conversation about me and claim I'm "obsessed" with her. I read interviews with celebrities and politicians, does that make me obsessed with them?

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Nojokur
Not all of Europe, but the countries that you mentioned are literally the Middle East 2.0

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@DeathDog
I will fuck any race.

@StrangeWizard
@Fuzzy_Logic
@Nojokur
I'm in Europe, 50% white.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@Dreamworx
I will fuck any race.

SO PROGRESSIVE

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

TESTING

Lunatick
Lunatick

@StrangeWizard
London, UK
literally an arab state

Are you high?

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Stark_Naked
WRONG PIC

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@Stupidasole
I'd let her show me.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Spazyfool
I'm not the guy who made the original comment. I don't really care much about her frankly.

What I am calling out is how fucked you must be to start arguments with people on the internet to try and defend a whore. Why the fuck would you read interviews? A politician is fine because they are a significant person that could have an impact on your life, but this is you reading what she says/thinks because you actually care because you're obsessed with her.

Get some perspective on how shit your life must be for you to be doing this right now.

By the way, nice try to deflect the conversation on to me being jealous etc.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@whereismyname
Your right, I don't want to buy a used bot.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@Garbage Can Lid
@Booteefool
these images are completely unrealistic, how is that thing holding a bat?

Fuck this shit.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Illusionz
I had 18 years and it's bad.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@Spazyfool
for 10 of those years, you didn't want sex, so you had 8, fag. Learn math

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@happy_sad
for 10 of those years
You called the wrong number and I wanted sex since kindergarten.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@MPmaster
I have to agree. That picture is totally unacceptable.

5mileys
5mileys

@haveahappyday
No you fucking didn't, you lying shit.

w8t4u
w8t4u

@5mileys
Why wouldn't I want sex?

massdebater
massdebater

@haveahappyday
kindergarten

How come whenever I see the word "kindergarten" my dick fills up?

likme
likme

@massdebater
Your a pervert.

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@w8t4u
Because you don't start making the hormones that make you want to fuck until around the age of 10.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@likme
no u

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@lostmypassword
Then how did I get a hard on?

Techpill
Techpill

@Gigastrength
your dick still fucking works, you just don't want to use it.

TreeEater
TreeEater

@Poker_Star
Let's post some adults.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@Techpill
I did want to use it. I was thinking of a woman.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@TreeEater
ewww gross

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Carnalpleasure
Yeah, okay.

Firespawn
Firespawn

8ch.net/lolipose/index.html

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Firespawn
I'm not even a pedo but why are kids so fucking hot?

DeathDog
DeathDog

The pedos have gotten loose, thread's over everybody

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@StonedTime
I got bad news for you then.

You are a pedo

TechHater
TechHater

@StonedTime
would you like to see more reasons posted here or at lolipose? ;)

eGremlin
eGremlin

@StonedTime
I'm not even a pedo
why are kids so fucking hot

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@TechHater
Post Laura B She is really hot.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@PurpleCharger
I agree, but I am not a pedo. I just ironically like kids.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@PurpleCharger
ok come to lolipose and reply to laura b pic there:)

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@BunnyJinx
@PurpleCharger
Yes please come there both of you.

girlDog
girlDog

Get rich and you will have women swarming over you

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@girlDog
Fake, but I will consider getting rich anyway, unless I forget.

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