Suicide booth thread

WebTool
WebTool

What's your preferred manner of killing yourself, Leeky Forums?

All urls found in this thread:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxMtMNGKx7s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGvUDvZ7KyU
LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

shotgun blowjob

StonedTime
StonedTime

Spiked dildo

DeathDog
DeathDog

Oh boy I have a lot of preferred ways to kill myself user. Of course I am speaking from experience here, I have killed myself over 9000 times or a lengthy career of 5 years. I'm simply better at it than everyone else. You may call me a natural and a leading expert.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@DeathDog
I mean, if you had to pick one, I'm looking for the best score given: ((convenience*spectacle*probability_of_success)+mess) / (cost*time_spent)

Nojokur
Nojokur

Take too many pills and die in my sleep
or vomit all over the place in the morning

w8t4u
w8t4u

Here's my plan, probably won't be effective.

park my car in a large parking lot.
down a bunch of over the counter sleep-aids
cover my head with a plastic bag and tape it around my neck
have the album "Songs Not To Get Married To" playing on repeat for whomever finds me. (I'm Reggieposter if anyone even remembers that)

iluvmen
iluvmen

@WebTool
blood choke with a belt, painless, peaceful, takes a lil time but
you better not let anyone save you or you'll survive with permanent brain damage and won't be able to go for round 2 and stuck in eternal flesh prison

best way to go is taking on the empire of evil (american gov) since alone you won't win but try n take as many out as you can

TechHater
TechHater

autoerotic asphyxiation

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

I always thought that I'd like to drown.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

Having too much sex and drugs at the same time. It's probably not going to happen though.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Fuzzy_Logic
…until I tried it once. I have to say it's not for me.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

suicide bombing. That, or dying by saving people from a suicide bomb.

Emberburn
Emberburn

induced heart attack
or a bullet to the heart

SniperWish
SniperWish

None because I'm not a nihilistic atheist millennial bernie voter

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@SniperWish
Is it because your an orangutan? Kinky!~

King_Martha
King_Martha

@StrangeWizard
Expense doesn't matter because I'll be paying the ultimate price anyways and money will be worthless to me. I can get one of those shitty mail offer credit cards and never pay it back, I'm dead. Also time is meaningless since I'll be ending myself at the end regardless.

So a better formula would be (convenience*spectacle*uniqueness_or_creativity*humor_or_irony)+mess+shock_value

On that note, here's a simple but interesting one I thought of just this afternoon:
buy enough fireworks for a decent backyard show every year, but not quite enough to set off any government notifications, maybe buy a few smaller lots of fireworks from neighboring states too
don't set off fireworks
repeat each holiday for five years
create lightweight metal pyre frame which can be assembled quickly and easily from generic rods
plan a party, invite everyone, if no one knows you spend a year before being more outgoing, seeming happier, befriending and helping coworkers, neighbors, reconcile with family, etc, etc, make new friends all over the place
get a BIG POTLUCK PARTY
have everyone bring their homecooked dishes and put them on white tablecloth tables outside
provide chairs for them all to sit in
behind the food tables is one big lumpy shape covered in big white cloth which is tacked down to lawn so kids can't just rip it off
have first festivities, some music, whatever
have everyone sit in chairs, with kids sitting in front of the rest on blankets so they can get a better view
unpin cloth, climb up on top and remove it with a sweeping gesture
it is a pyre made entirely of celebratory explosives held in place loosely by the frame
cross arms and fall back into depression/pseudo-coffin in the middle
yell ALLAHU AKBAR or JEWS DID 911 or DAD RAPED ME or GOD BLESS AMERICA or WITNESS ME or whatever dumb shit you want your last words to be
click both electronic detonators which were in the coffin depression waiting for you…in case one malfunctions
light backup fuses in case they both fail
chuckle in your last moments
explosion starts at the bottom, with any luck you're airborne by the time you're ripped apart
tables launched at people
people are blind or deaf if they didn't run/cover ears fast enough
glass shards, twisted metal, sizzling fireworks that haven't gone off quite yet, baked beans and your intestines shower the crowd
especially the kids in front
no survivors

@iluvmen
You seem like an uncommonly stupid person already, nothing much to lose with belt method.

Snarelure
Snarelure

i've heard that a shotgun blast to the face is the quickest and least painful way to off yourself. although i doubt that the 'least painful' part will be easy to verify, since it most probably has a high mortality rate too.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Snarelure
Wrong. A shotgun blast to the face gives you about equal odds of death and bagface.

A shotgun to the soft palate, barrel held firmly between the teeth, angled 45 degrees up, pull trigger with toes, 12 gauge buckshot or slug is the surest common, cheap, simple and available method of suicide.

DeathDog
DeathDog

Decapitation by train.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@w8t4u
You're board is dead

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

You are a fucking idiot OP
How would you know what your favorite method of killing yourself is if you've never killed yourself?
See how fucking stupid that sounds? Whining faggots these days

Soft_member
Soft_member

@LuckyDusty

Are you giving the shotgun a blowjob or is it blowing you?

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Soft_member
Had same question. Either one very lethal.

farquit
farquit

@Soft_member
When it blows, you go.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@Sir_Gallonhead
How the fuck would you know what your favorite Pokemon is if you've never even captured a Pokemon irl?

massdebater
massdebater

@happy_sad

Well arren't you just a fucking snowflake

It's an Espeon

Techpill
Techpill

@WebTool
I got close with xanax + alcohol
They told me I was five minutes from death. It was super peaceful and cheap.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@massdebater
You can't know that you don't really have one.

FastChef
FastChef

neutral gas

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

Teledeportation.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@Stupidasole
I didn't even make that.

girlDog
girlDog

@Techpill
How many did you take and what's your weight in kilograms? also concentration of alcohol?
You could have probably did it better if you added sleeping pills to the mix. Sleepy brain+heart together with alcohol makes for a very nice combo.

askme
askme

"Drowning is my third favorite way to die, but they are all good."

Snarelure
Snarelure

@askme
Oblongs reference
mah nigga

WebTool
WebTool

I heard helium, then nitrogen was better, but personally I prefer argon. At least better than carbon monoxide.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

Alimony.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

Wingsuit BASE jumping, Jeb Corliss style. See how many jumps I can pull off before splattering myself on the rocks.

Illusionz
Illusionz

Inert gas and calming pills seems like a very good way to preserve your body.

FastChef
FastChef

/suicide/index.html
An entire board and not a single good method of suicide.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Techpill
Tell us your secret user. How didn't you vomit?

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

Cheese grinder with hands glued onto your head.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

find tall building, measure aproximate height of said building, buy rope, super glue, and piano wire. tie piano wire around my neck, tie rope to my ankles, super glue hands to the side of my head and jump. the piano wire will be shorter than the rope you see, with the intended outcome of removing my own head. so you then have a body hanging 10 feet above the ground, holding it's own decapitated head, spewing blood everywhere

eGremlin
eGremlin

Nitrous asphyxiation, or an overdose on LSD.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@BinaryMan
@New_Cliche
These two are the only correct answers

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@King_Martha
Not bad. 6.5/10
Setup should be less complex and more user friendly

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

nerve gas

FastChef
FastChef

Probably school shooting with explosives strapped to chest to avoid prison

TreeEater
TreeEater

Drink Dihydrogen monoxide

eGremlin
eGremlin

@WebTool
I'm surprised suicide hasn't become more accepted with today's millenial retards full of fake feminists, losers, sjw, whiners, depressed lunatics.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

Exit bag in my favourite car, the BMW E36.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@eGremlin
Kill yourself and maybe someone will follow your example.

viagrandad
viagrandad

We should push a suicide agenda, it would be perfect for this generation of rejects, losers, depressed minimum wage workers. Don't you agree, Leeky Forums?

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

Drug overdose

SniperWish
SniperWish

brave little toaster takes a bath is 1337 as fug ure all gehy and wrong if you pick anything else

StonedTime
StonedTime

Can I be murdered by this guys beast ninja skillz he has so many hax and has legit recon!!

Illusionz
Illusionz

@viagrandad
/b/
doing anything big after the year 2009

takes2long
takes2long

@WebTool
Disintegration with a Varon-T Romulan Disruptor. Part of me wants to die a painful death.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

Ejaculate to death

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@viagrandad
Yes. Suicide is good for you. ;)
But seriously would any normie even accept to be born as a loser if they knew they could simply revive as a better person in a new life?
I'd love to see any normalfag try to live the life of a depressed Gen-Z faggot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxMtMNGKx7s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGvUDvZ7KyU

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

Pick one.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@New_Cliche

That's just beautiful

happy_sad
happy_sad

bump :)

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Pills and alcohol is an easy way to go.

w8t4u
w8t4u

@Deadlyinx
More like heart attack to death.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

Intestinal blockage.

massdebater
massdebater

"Hey guise, pwease feel sowwy for me! >.<"

viagrandad
viagrandad

@WebTool
Death by anal sex by a trap <3

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Ignoramus
That was actually great

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@viagrandad
Lol faggot.

cum2soon
cum2soon

Depriving myself of dank Segeks will get the job done rather quickly, and efficiently.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@viagrandad
Supposedly what pills did he take there?

w8t4u
w8t4u

@WebTool
Massive opiate overdose, in my bed with Mia Malkova riding my dick. While a mix of Pink floyd, Led zeppelin, Cream, and other badass bands play on shuffle until I finally fade into the void.

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