Three Books

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

A portal leading to an alien world has been discovered. The aliens are like humans, except they have invented the wheel just last week, are green and have rubber-foreheads. You get to send them three books to decide the fate of their civilization. After you've done that, the portal will close forever, leaving humanity and the aliens separated. What books do you send them?
The aliens can read your books
No, you can't send them anything else
Holy shit you faggots stop trying to break the thought experiment!!!!1

Pic related. I find it endearing in its fedoraness.

5mileys
5mileys

@Stark_Naked
1. Contact by Carl Sagan (for human opinion of aforementioned contact)
2. War and Peace by Tolstoy (as to prove our intellectual superiority)
3. The Quran by Allah/Mohammed (to start a galactic war)

Booteefool
Booteefool

books

w8t4u
w8t4u

I would write three extremely long books of my own quoting everything I thought mattered from other books I had the time to read during my lifetime, along with my personal commentary and reflection, explaining the context and caveats.

Methshot
Methshot

@5mileys
War and Peace was less cerebral than you think. Sure, the translations are all extremely beautiful linguistically, and sure Tolstoy had a very people-aware philosophical bent, but they're half drama and Anna Karenina is nearly all drama. I say "they're" because both were originally published as series of six books, released individually upon completion.

I mean, we're talking about a book that includes slavshits tying a cop and a bear together back to back and sending them floating down a canal.

Inmate
Inmate

I. The most comprehensive single volume encyclopedia ever published
II. The complete works of William Shakespeare
III. The Complete Works of Plato

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

Wealth of Nations
Might is Right
Walden

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Capital Volumes 1-3
they'll be doomed and confused before they started

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@Stark_Naked
In one book precisely describe how to build a device to view microfilm
In the other two books print all of Wikipedia on microfilm.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

The Eye of the World
Dragon Reborn
The Great Hunt

Just so they have blue balls.

RumChicken
RumChicken

1. The Decline of the West
2. Tao te Ching
3. The Ego and its Own

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

Does the Encyclopedia Britannica count as one book?

whereismyname
whereismyname

A book about making icecream
Something about feminism
The Wizard of Oz

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

1.Printout of Fate/Stay Night.
2.Daring Do and the Jungle of Terror
3.Sonic the Hedgehog in the Fourth Dimension

Watch the fuckers burn

happy_sad
happy_sad

giving them books is pointless if they just invented the wheel. they don't know how to read

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@happy_sad
read rule 1 and 3

eGremlin
eGremlin

@TurtleCat
ah right sorry I'm retarded

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@Stark_Naked
Finally our universe will have a world of Big Guys, like Bravo Nolan intended.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream.

Flameblow
Flameblow

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream

SniperWish
SniperWish

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream..

FastChef
FastChef

That fuckhuge Smash Bros fanfic, after publishing it of course.
The C Programming Language
Principalia Mathematica

Either they end up very confused, they take Nintendo's first party lineup as some kind of religion or they make a fuckton of vidya

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

That fuckhuge Smash Bros fanfic, after publishing it of course.
The C Programming Language
Principalia Mathematica

Either they end up very confused, they take Nintendo's first party lineup as some kind of religion or they make a fuckton of vidya

While we're at it send them a book on PHP so that their eventual Leeky Forums won't bug up

Booteefool
Booteefool

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream.

hairygrape
hairygrape

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

How do magazines work? Is each issue considered an entire book? Or are they considered parts of the same book? Because if it's the former, then I send them the first three issues of Sonichu. If issues are considered the same book then I add Tails Gets Trolled and Sonic Live. I'll create an entire world of turbo autists. Surely one day they will reach the stars and destroy us. That is what we deserve for mocking those who dare to dream.

Soft_member
Soft_member

1. Dianetics by L.R. Hubbard
2. Caves of Steel by Isaac Asimov
3. Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling

MPmaster
MPmaster

these should do nicely

viagrandad
viagrandad

1984

My sonic fan fiction

The constitution

SniperGod
SniperGod

Mein Kampf - A.H
SIEGE - James Mason
The Decline of the West - Oswald Spengler

TechHater
TechHater

Bump

@haveahappyday
@SniperGod
pure cancer

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

1. For a New Liberty (to teach them the value of, well, liberty)
2. 1984 (to further dissuade them from totalitarianism)
3. Hokuto No Ken (to make them master martial artists and instill the concept of heroism in them)

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

PHB
MM
DMG

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Fuzzy_Logic
What's that?

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

1- So you've made a wheel, now what?
2- Where's Wally? (the yellow one, obviously)
3- The Witcher Official Walktrhough Guide (with pictures)
4- Learning how to count for Dummies

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

1: Frankfurt Book Fair - Catalog of Exhibitors 2015
2: Alabama Highschool's 2003 Yearbook
3: The User Manual for a Daewo Microwave

Why? Just to fucking waste the opportunity to change an entire civilization cause fuck it I don't care about anything, fuck you, your dumb…

Sorry, I meant, fuck you AND your dumb…

…mom

I forgot the AND the first time. Srry

StonedTime
StonedTime

@TalkBomber
I giggled at your suggestions, then your mix of edginess and a below-average IQ made me cringe.

Nojokur
Nojokur

@StonedTime
oh no, i lost the respect of a fat user writting from a basement? Oh gawd no…

by the way, I'm the guy who wrote @TalkBomber

If your so smart what are you're suggestions???

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@TalkBomber
@StonedTime
oh no, i lost the respect of a fat user writting from a basement? Oh gawd no…

by the way, I'm the guy who wrote @TalkBomber

If your so smart what are you're suggestions???

iluvmen
iluvmen

@Nojokur
oh no, i lost the respect of a fat user writting from a basement?
Speak for yourself.

If your so smart what are you're suggestions???
These: @PurpleCharger
Also, do you ever get your/you're right? You sound like a teenage girl. Are you a teenage girl?

FastChef
FastChef

@Stark_Naked

Three whole anthologies of quotes and posts taken from the chans (perhaps rehashed as religious texts)

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@iluvmen
Are you a teenage girl?
yes, yes i am. What's you're problem with that?

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

Meditations (Marcus Aurelius) for their social structure
The complete works of Aristotle for a baseline in the arts and sciences, from which they can improve
A textbook containing simple arithmatic to triginometry in meticulous detail, to speed the advancement of their sciences so that someday soonish, we might meet a race of High-Tech stoics who've colonized the universe.

farquit
farquit

Principia discordia
The illuminatus trilogy
Beelzebubs tales to his grandson

Law of fives bitch

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Fried_Sushi
I like your plan, m8

Spamalot
Spamalot

The Republic, so they can get a nice entry level to philosophy.
Mein Kampf (Stalag ver.), so they know of the Jews and their lies.
Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs, because Lisp > C.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@farquit
Hail Eris.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@Stark_Naked
The Hitchhiker's guild to the Galaxy
To give them a sense of Humor

physics 101
So they have knowledge of the building blocks of the universe

Karma sutra
So they can figure out the pleasures of fucking

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

Couldn't go on without any of 'em

eGremlin
eGremlin

@SniperGod
dat third natsoc drawing.
why are they digging?
to hide corpse of the slaughtereds ?

Nojokur
Nojokur

@Flameblow
alien world
alien
are green and have rubber-foreheads
green
rubber-foreheads
i bet they like money too

see what i mean?
great choice of yours

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Spamalot
Player's Handbook
Monster Manual
Dungeon Master's Guide

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@massdebater
this
and these two

DeathDog
DeathDog

1. Mein Kampf
2. Lolita
3. Vargsmål

massdebater
massdebater

asimovs best sellers

DeathDog
DeathDog

@haveahappyday
FUCK OFF
@RumChicken
COMMIES

1. Basic Economics: A Common Sense Guide to the Economy
2. Capitalism and Freedom
3. Blacklisted by History

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@DeathDog
Sehr gut, mein herr!

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@Methshot
not the fishing one - not sure how that got in there

Bidwell
Bidwell

the Prince, by Machiavelli, so they all grow up to be schemers
The art of war, by sun tzu, so their civilisation is either doomed or prepared
And
Meltdown: A Free-Market Look at Why the Stock Market Collapsed by Tom Woods…

So they don't fuck up their economy to be

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

I. Goosebumps #9: Welcome To Camp Nightmare by R. L. Stine

II. Goosebumps #35: Shocker on Shocker Street by R. L. Stine

III. Goosebumps #53: Chicken Chicken by R. L. Stine

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