Is there a spider in your bed?

Skullbone
Skullbone

comfy af laying on my side in bed
tablet sideways with me
lights out
screen illuminating
lurking Leeky Forums
about to pass out
brown recluse crawls down from the head of the bed towards the screen
go into attack mode
cat goes flying
squash it w/ tablet
immediate danger eliminated
wonder how many more there are
Fuuck!

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Skullbone
fuck off cuck!

happy_sad
happy_sad

@StonedTime
fuck off cuck!
Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it's a peach of cake

Methnerd
Methnerd

@happy_sad
cuck

Snarelure
Snarelure

@Skullbone
Post corpse

Evilember
Evilember

@Snarelure
Flushed it

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Evilember
Do you fucking realize you just used 3.5, 5, or even up to 7 gallons of water with that flush you stupid fucking retarded unconscious cunt ??? Not ONLY that but did you waste it on precious protein ??? Refugees could have made use of that murdered spider's corpse, they even could Have licked the rich and nutricious fluid on the tablet you squashed it with, but I bet it hasn't even crossed your privileged arachnocidal selfish rapesuming shit-cloud you take for a MIND. I bet you simply wiped it off like it was some of your night old cumstain (not to mention those could have been of use to someone). Trudeau will get the best of you, bastard

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Skullbone
Is there a spider in your bed?
No, I probably swallowed them. Pic related.

brown recluse
Are they dangerous?

FastChef
FastChef

@SniperGod
Refugees could have made use of that
Good point!

Illusionz
Illusionz

@SniperGod
Is that so?

@TurtleCat
Are they dangerous?
Very

farquit
farquit

Ever have a cockroach walk up your leg when your naked?

viagrandad
viagrandad

@farquit
Your mother was raped by CUCKS!

5mileys
5mileys

@farquit
Nope, and I hope I never do

cum2soon
cum2soon

@viagrandad
More like clocks.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@5mileys
It is like having magic fingers running up your thigh, I may be diluted, but it may happened when I was jacking off one time.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Illusionz
Are they dangerous?
Very
Get a larger pet spider to hunt them down.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@cum2soon
BWAHAHAHA
BTFO

StonedTime
StonedTime

@farquit
no but i had loose shorts and they got up there.. i think 2 got on my legs, one got farther up
maybe they were "waterbugs" don't know if it's a difference

takes2long
takes2long

if there was a the spider in my bed i would sniff poppers and spread my bumhole and sit on spider then i pray and wish that it bite my prostate and the spider is radioactive and then I poop spider webs and sell my webs to the govement for militery applications

Flameblow
Flameblow

Ah luv spiders

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Sir_Gallonhead
Having a large slow-moving tarantula might be a viable option provided you could train it to go back it's tank when you get home from work so it doesn't surprise you by being in your bed or something. Maybe possible via conditioning feeding a spider as soon as you get home every day?

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@Skullbone
I haven't opened my windows yet for the spring and they spray pesticides in the hallway regularly so I'd hope not.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@StonedTime
You'd quickly find the tarantula and be able to just throw it back in it's hole in the wall.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@Sir_Gallonhead
I kind of like that idea.

I'm not huge on spiders but I let a really hairy tarantula crawl on me once and feeling it made it considerably less scary. It felt like a kitten walking on you.

massdebater
massdebater

@Flameblow
Ah luv spiders
I liek spiders too.
I would rather let a spider live (outside) so it can kill other bugs for me than kill it.
But not when they're venomous.
Those fuckers must DIE on site!!!

Techpill
Techpill

Probably.

I get bitten on my sleep almost on a weekly basis.

I think of it positively, I'm getting used to spider venom over time and will be able to thrive in the wild when the great habbeng is upon us.

One less thing to worry about.

Plus they also keep the bugs out, so it's a symbiotic relationship.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@Skullbone
No. The brown recluses are terrible here. I check everyday, and if I feel anything on me. I make sure my sheets and blankets don't touch the floor, and I have the legs of my bed with felts underneath on a tile floor. That, and the wood is oiled, probably keeps them off. I haven't seen anything but one of the black jumping spiders in my bed in ages, and they eat brown recluses iirc. So I stay on friendly terms with those and the wolf spiders. I keep my clothes in plastic tubs, and set the next days clothes on my metal desk chair. I check my shoes everyday. I check every towel before I use it. I look in the shower before I run water, and I open every door AWAY from myself to make sure if they fly off I can kill them. I seal obvious gaps in wainscoting. Cardboard or untreated wood is an obvious no go. Sticky traps on every wall.

@happy_sad
I could care less. I am sorry to be the baron of bad news, but you seem buttered, so allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality, because it’s now like the pot calling the kettle cracked. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Irregardless, make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake. Accept the fax.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@Poker_Star
fug, that was not the pasta I was looking for.

TreeEater
TreeEater

spiders are your friends. wolf spiders are great for killing bedbugs, cockroaches, ants just about anything that wanders into your home. they don't leave webs behind either and their bite isn't poisonous

farquit
farquit

SPOPPY

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@takes2long
What in the actual fuck

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