Thinking about going to a casino soon lads

SniperWish
SniperWish

Thinking about going to a casino soon lads. Have any of you ever been to one? I'm curious what I should play and any tips/tricks in general.

Nojokur
Nojokur

I don't really like casinos but I grew up going to the casinos in connecticut sometimes.
1. Don't expect to win anything
2. For stuff like poker some casinos have different etiquette so even if you know how to play the game lurk before you sit down
3. They don't show you clocks or natural lighting so you lose track of time, drinks are free if you're spending for a reason
4. Expect to see a lot of sad-looking old people

If you think it might be your thing then have fun, but if you don't find yourself enjoying it don't waste money just because you're there. Consider having a backup plan involving a small bed & breakfast in the woods that involves fishing and hiking.

Also what casinos/cities?

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Nojokur
I'm in Mississippi unfortunately; there is a blue law stating that all casinos have to be on water. We only have casinos on cities along the Mississippi River and on the Gulf Coast. I'm thinking of going to one in Vicksburg since it is the closest to me.

Playboyize
Playboyize

gambling
might as well throw money into a fire

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Playboyize
might as well
better off

But if you go then only bet on red/blue or odd/even on roulette. It's almost a 50:50, payoff is fair.

RumChicken
RumChicken

play blackjack
hit until you have 17 or higher
fuck bitches

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@SniperWish
1. don't

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

Be prepared for least glamorous assortment of people ever. Don't think about Pierce Brosnan playing baccarat with a supermodel in a slinky Dior gown. Think about a Walmart full of drunks, with slot machines.

Illusionz
Illusionz

@RumChicken
yfw the house still wins more often than you do
yfw limited bets

TreeEater
TreeEater

@GoogleCat
this
@Ignoramus
and this
he forgot the fat jews, the e. euro gangsters, the arabs in disguise and the drunken one time golddigger tarts.
monacofag says it. (got the tshirt)

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@LuckyDusty
This. Had a friend who used to be a dealer at a casino. They told me not to bother playing anything but roulette unless you like burning money.

Methshot
Methshot

@SniperWish
been a few times.
its meh. usually just bored dead in the eyes old people sitting at slots not enjoying themselves.

just act like your gambling, play a few slots, and you get free drinks.

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Raving_Cute
playing pass line in craps with full odds behind the line is the best odds in the casino.
you can burn through a lot of money though if you don't have enough of a stake to stick around for a little while.

@Ignoramus
not even. in connecticut casinos it is all old, sad fucks with oxygen tanks blowing their social security checks.
also azns but they don't play craps so idgaf.
ghetto nogs do play craps for some reason though but they don't usually stick around for long.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@SniperWish
1. Like everyone else said, don't go in expecting to win. You'll only come out disappointed.
2. If it's your first time, try to play odds that are close to 1:1. That being said, EZ Bacc (no commission/don't bet side bets) and Black/Red on Roulette are about as close to 50/50 as you're going to get. Still, the edge is in the house's favor. Else they wouldn't offer the games.
3. If you're going to play slots, play the higher denominations (25 cent and above). Those machines are programmed to give a higher percentage of payouts. Also, unless you're at some backwater, old-as-fuck casino, all slots are computerized with RNGs, even the ones with physical reels. There's a YouTube video somewhere on how they actually work, but I'll be arsed to find it for you.
4. If you play cards and you're on a table with an automatic shuffler, don't bitch at the dealer for a shit hand. It's quite literally out of their control. Plus it makes you look like a fucking douche.
5. Free drinks aren't. They are designed to get you liquored up so you make bad decisions. Stick to water or soda.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Been to many casinos, here's some tips
don't drink anything alcoholic, DONT
Slots are just luck, so is Roulette
Poker is rigged as fuck, just play blackjack
Expect to fold a lot.
Play slow, have a time limit when you will stop
Be nice to the dealers, tip them well, don't be a kike
Have fun, as soon as you aren't having fun, LEAVE
Hope this helps fag

RavySnake
RavySnake

OP again. Thanks for the tips, but what about picking up women? I imagine weekend nights would be best but that is also when the rooms are most expensive.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@Lunatick
5. Free drinks aren't. They are designed to get you liquored up so you make bad decisions. Stick to water or soda.
The whole point of a casino is to go there with a certain amount of money and lose it in an entertaining way. If that's not literally your plan, don't go to a casino.

So go there with a smallish amount of money, have a bus ticket in advance, and enjoy the free drinks, I say.

@RavySnake
Thanks for the tips, but what about picking up women?
Like, literal prostitutes? Is there a reason you're being euphemistic about it?

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@CodeBuns
Not literal prostitutes. I'm talking about bored housewives or drunk and horny college chicks.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@CodeBuns
a certain amount of money and lose it in an entertaining way
sorry, small fry
the whole point is to risk more money than you can afford to lose. otherwise whales would play for pennies instead of millions.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@RavySnake
Just look up the price of escorts it's probably cheaper than going to a casino to pick up women

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@Garbage Can Lid
Not literal prostitutes. I'm talking about bored housewives or drunk and horny college chicks.
user, take it from someone that's been to a lot of casinos: if you can find someone remotely attractive in a casino that's willing to sleep with you, she's a prostitute. Resign yourself to that in advance.

Exception: Scam artists that will take your money AND not actually sleep with you.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@SomethingNew
nevada truth

Techpill
Techpill

@cum2soon
I'd actually kind of like to go one of those boats just for shits and giggles.

farquit
farquit

RETARD

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

go for it lad lad lad

whereismyname
whereismyname

@SniperWish
Blackjack only. Ideally where the dealer must hit a 17. Martingale until you're up a bit, then play a few more hands with small bets and leave. Blow your winnings on the slots on the way out the door if you feel like being a faggot.

DO NOT keep trying to Martingale after you get your first decent Martingale, that's now how it works.

what's a Martingale
Each time you bet, bet twice as much as the last time. With deep enough pockets and not horrible luck, you eventually win at least once. Since each bet was 2x the bet before, you are now up a bit against the house. Congrats, play your courtesy rounds and then GTFO casually.

If you hit the bet cap before you Martingale successfully, either keep betting max until you go broke or leave and sob into your half-empty wallet.

@Nojokur
Second the etiquette thing, gamblers are fucking autistic and casino owners and employees amplify that autism to keep people coming back and feeling like they belong, and keep anyone who might be doing well feeling bad so they keep playing until they lose or else leave before they win too much. Also yeah, the sad old people. They're addicts, true addicts, and they have no money to speak of and nothing to live for.

@Raving_Cute
Then he forgot blackjack, craps, and cribbage against people who can't play it well (almost everyone).

@Lunatick
Anyone who bitches about their cards in general, ever, is a retard who can't pokerface.

@RavySnake
picking up casino women
Whether or not you mean hookers, nyet. Nyet on that in general.

@Garbage Can Lid
Definitely no. Listen I know it sounds like a good idea and what could go wrong but just fucking listen to me when I say NO. Pick them up somewhere else instead.

Methshot
Methshot

I play poker at one. If you're half decent at poker you can make a really good hourly wage taking people's money at the cash tables. If you aren't, thanks.

Cash poker is an even mix of young to middle aged white guys and old white guys with a small (10-15%) minority of asians and blacks. Slots are about 20% old folks, 10% white trash and 70% blacks. I haven't checked out the other games, but I expect it falls somewhere in the middle, leaning more towards middle aged white guys.

viagrandad
viagrandad

workarena.info :D

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@Evil_kitten
You're supposed to tip a jew for jewing you? Wtf tbqh

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